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Sorry Jack. No sale. Now she wants a big dumb muscle head.
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BRIDGE
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but I can't figure women out
You say the wrong word and you're through
Tough guy, nice guy, in between,
yeah they don't make 'em like Steve McQueen.
So what's a guy like me supposed to do?
Trouble is with women, least as far as I can see it,
is nothing seems to be what it seems
My baby wants a guy who can read you esoteric poetry
then tell you just exactly what it means
The kind of Poindexter who... got A's in every course
The kind of guy who'll die and leave behind a genius corpse
In and out and through the seams,
why couldn't I be Steve McQueen?
I think I'm gonna die if I have to be the guy she needs. Because...
I'm no Steve McQueen
But I certainly would have dated Ali McGraw
It's time that I come clean
Steve was always a little quicker on his draw
Her smile stings like Listerine
And I'll never be another Steve McQueen
She's had enough of Frost and Keats
My baby wants a guy who can rip out fire-hydrants with his teeth
and other sorts of strong-man feats
The kind of guy who just might... die from a heart attack
Yeah the kind of guy who has... cholesterol off the map
Somebody help me out 'cause all is fair in turnabout
And I think I'll probably die if I have to be who she needs.
You see...
I found no matter how I gather my thoughts up,
I'll never have enough to hide
I found a thousand mile journey to nowhere
begins with the very first stride
Everything I believe is designed to deceive
It's runnin' through me like a sieve
and it's the only way I'm livin' because
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